I’m not starting this letter with “Dear” because, FUCK YOU.
It’s me, the girl whose dreams you shattered, and body you stomped on. You have trespassed. You have broken and entered. You have robbed me. You are the BIGGEST felon. I have something to say about that. But you don’t deserve my anger. You don’t deserve MY LIFE. Yet here I am, angry.
You have made your home inside my head, inside my body. You have broken me. You have robbed me of EVERYTHING. You took my peace, my future, my plans, my DREAMS. I don’t know if I have a future. All the plans I had made for myself, you have destroyed them. I second guess and question everything now, because of YOU. Because of you, I don’t plan too far ahead. Because of you, I doubt my future, I wonder whether I will get the only thing I’ve ever wanted, to be a MOM. Because of you, I am losing myself. I’ve been torn apart by you. Patched together with pain, and stitched up with sorrow.
When my left hand struggles to hold down the strings of my guitar, there your are, mocking me. When I forget what I was doing or where I was going, I think of you. When I can’t sleep at night because the pain is too much, I see you sitting at the foot of my bed, smirking at me. You’ve created this fear in me that I never thought I was capable of feeling. A fear I never knew existed. But you don’t own me. I will show you I am stronger.
I just wanted to end this letter by saying thank you. Thank you for teaching me to appreciate everything I have in life. I never thought we’d ever meet, but we did. I cannot wait to leave you behind and go forward with life. You’ve given me a reason to fight, and for that, I say thanks. Thank you for showing me the definition of “strong.” You may be in my brain, but you’ve been more of a pain in my butt and although you have been painful to bear sometimes, thank you for the lessons you have taught me so far. I’m sure I will learn more as I continue to regain ownership from you.
The girl whose life you will NOT take
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Just “one of those girls” one of those strong girls.